70 Funny Veggie Quotes
Get ready to fill your plate with laughter and humor, because we’ve gathered a bunch of funny veggie quotes that will have you rolling in the aisles!
Whether you’re a proud vegetarian, a veggie enthusiast, or simply enjoy a good joke, these puns and one-liners are bound to tickle your funny bone.
So sit back, relax, and get ready to inject some laughter back into your plant-based lifestyle. Without further ado, here are our top picks for funny veggie quotes:
Funny Vegetable Quotes
#1
“I’m on the broccoli diet. Every time I see it on my plate, I cover it with cheese.”
#2
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
#3
“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
#4
“If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener.”
#5
“An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.”~ Will Rogers
#6
“I’m in a serious relationship with my salad. We’re in a committed lettuce.”
#7
“What’s the difference between broccoli and cauliflower? Cauliflower is just broccoli that’s seen a ghost.“
#8
“I told my vegetables a joke, but they didn’t laugh. It must’ve been too corny!”
#9
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it… unless it’s a vegetable.”
#10
“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”~ Doug Larson
#11
“I tried to make a vegetable smoothie, but it just ended up being a blend of tears and regrets.”
#12
“I’m on a diet, but I’m just one salad away from a good mood.”
#13
“Where do tomatoes go on a date? The salad bar.“
#14
“Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it.”~ S. J. Perelman
#15
“Why did the broccoli go to the party? Because it just wanted to turnip!”
#16
“I like my vegetables, but I love my dessert. It’s all about balance, you know!”
#17
“What do you call an onion that’s small and laughs a lot? A tickled onion.”
#18
“My green thumb came only as a result of the mistakes I made while learning to see things from the plant’s point of view.” ~ H. Fred Ale
#19
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” ~ A. Whitney Brown
#20
“Vegetables are like a hug from Mother Nature, except they don’t require any awkward small talk.”
#21
“I’m a vegan because I don’t want to be a part of a system that treats vegetables as a side dish.” ~ Bill Maher
#22
“What do you get when two peas have a fight? Black-eyed peas.“
#23
“Did you hear about the vegetable comedy show? It was full of really corny jokes!”
#24
“I’m just a potato trying to find my place in this mashed-up world.“
#25
“What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.“
#26
“My favorite type of exercise is running out of excuses for not eating my vegetables.”
#27
“Don’t be a Brussel sprout, be the broccoli you were meant to be!”
#28
“I’m in a committed relationship with pizza, but salad is my side chick.”
#29
“What’s a gardener’s favourite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.“
#30
“All gardeners know better than other gardeners.” ~ Chinese Proverb
Funny Quotes About Vegetables
#31
“I don’t trust atoms… I heard they make up everything, even vegetables!”
#32
“I’m soy into you!”
#33
“I buy vegetables for my girlfriend every Valentine’s Day. She thinks it’s corny.“
#35
“You can’t beet the feeling of biting into a delicious vegetable!”
#36
“I’m friends with all vegetables. I have peas with them, cornversations with them, and lettuce all be good friends!”
#37
“Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a vegetable garden? Because the corn have ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans-talk.“
#38
“Why did the lettuce go to the gym? To get its core strength up!”
#39
“What did one vegetable say to the other? Lettuce romaine friends!”
#40
“A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.”~ Doug Larson
#41
“I enjoy a balanced diet: a cookie in each hand while I eat my veggies.”
#42
“A vegan diet is like a bank account. You must make deposits if you want to make a withdrawal.”
#43
“We come from the earth, we return to the earth, and in between we garden.” ~ Alfred Austin
#44
“Why don’t vegetables ever get into arguments? They know how to squash their problems!”
#45
“I’m just a radishing guy looking for some lettuce love.”
#46
“I carrot all about your health, so lettuce eat our veggies together!”
#47
“Don’t be a couch potato; lettuce turnip the beet!”
#48
“I tried to grow my own vegetables, but I was never able to ‘ketchup’ with them!”
#49
“Why did the vegetable apply for a job? Because it wanted to turnip for work!”
#50
“Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!”
Funny Vegetarian Quotes
#51
“Vegetarianism is a way to stalk your food before you eat it.”
#52
“If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat.” ~ Steven Wright
#53
“I’m a postmodern vegetarian. I eat meat ironically.” ~ Bill Bailey
#54
“As a vegetarian, I don’t believe in killing plants. I just feed them to the animals I eat.”
#55
“Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.” ~ Bill Bailey
#56
“I’m a vegetarian, but my blood type is kale-positive!”
#57
“I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.” ~ Ron White
#58
“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.” ~ Rita Rudner
#59
“Remember, vegetarians don’t want your sympathy, they just want another side dish option.”
#60
“I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!” ~ Bill Watterson
#61
“Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter'” ~ Andy Rooney
#62
“When someone says ‘You don’t make friends with salad,’ I’m like, ‘Yes, I do. I just don’t make friends with bacon.'”
#63
“The world’s strongest animals are plant eaters. Gorillas, Buffaloes, Elephants and me.” ~ Patrik Baboumian
#64
“Being vegetarian is all about letting animals live their best-lives – away from my plate.”
#65
“I think there’s something odd about eating another living anything.” ~ Shania Twain
#66
“I don’t trust trees. They seem shady.”
#67
“A human can be healthy without killing animals for food.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
#68
“I become a different person when I’m around people eating meat – a hungry person.”
#69
“Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving.” ~ Mike Connolly
#70
“Being vegetarian is like taking part in a vegetable uprising against the ‘meatocracy.'”
In a world filled with the hustle and bustle of daily life, sometimes all we need is a good dose of laughter. These funny veggie quotes remind us that humor can be found in the most unexpected places, even in our vegetables!
So, the next time you’re chopping up some carrots or enjoying a salad, remember these pun-tastic one-liners and share a laugh with your friends and family. After all, a hearty chuckle is the best dressing for any meal. Eat your veggies and keep the humor alive!
