75 Funny Quotes About An Ex
Welcome to our collection of “funny quotes about an ex”
Breakups can be tough, but sometimes finding humor in the situation can help lighten the mood. In this post, we’ve gathered a collection of funny quotes about exes that are sure to make you chuckle.
Whether you’ve recently gone through a breakup or simply need a good laugh, these witty and playful quotes will remind you that laughter truly is the best medicine when it comes to dealing with an ex.
So, sit back, relax, and get ready to crack a smile as we delve into these hilarious one-liners and clever quips about former relationships.
Funny Quotes For Ex
#1
“Breaking up with my ex was like getting a membership to the freedom club.”
#2
“Love is blind, but breaking up with my ex taught me the beauty of 20/20 vision.”
#3
“When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.”
― Drake
#4
“Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you’re still stupid.“
#5
“My ex didn’t break my heart, they just borrowed it for a while and never returned it.”
#6
Exes be like “remember when we used to…?” Nope. I remember when you fucked up though. Remember that?
#7
“The best way to get over an ex is to imagine them standing in line at the DMV for eternity.”
#8
“I am a museum full of art, but you had your eyes shut.”
– Rupi Kaur
#9
“Never be upset if you see your ex with someone else, because your parents taught you to give your used toys to the less fortunate.”
#10
“ Fall in love with the person who enjoys your madness, not an idiot who forces you to be normal.”
#11
“My ex made me feel like a superhero. I had the power to disappear from their life in the blink of an eye.”
#12
“If you were happy before you met someone, you can be happy when they’re gone.”
#13
“Oh yeah, you cross my mind once a week. That day is always garbage day.”
– Ashley Snyder.
#14
“Breaking up is hard, but with my ex, it was about as challenging as deciding what to eat for breakfast.”
#15
“The way My ex used to lie…even when he texts me “Good morning”, I had to go outside to see if its really morning!”
#16
“Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.”
– Megan Fox
#17
“Sometimes, I wish my ex’s email would automatically change ‘inbox’ to ‘ex-box’. Just to keep things accurate.”
#18
“I thought you took my breath away, but I was just suffocated with your BS.”
#19
“You’re way too short to get on this ride.”
– Shawn Mendes
#20
“My ex once told me they wanted a ‘happily ever after’. Turns out they meant with someone else.”
#21
“why don’t you go to Walmart and get a new personality because clearly the one you got from k-mart has expired.
#22
“I’m so miserable without you; it’s almost as if you’re here!”
– Billy Ray Cyrus
#23
“Breaking up with my ex was like a diet – tough at first, but now I’m feeling lighter and healthier.”
#24
“Ex, means expired, and an expired one is poisonous.“
#25
“You’re like a million miles too close.”
– The Jonas Brothers
#26
“If life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your ex’s eyes. It’s called lemon justice!”
#27
“Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.”
#28
“You don’t deserve my tears. I guess that’s why they ain’t there.”
– Beyoncé
#29
“My ex was like a broken pencil: pointless, and always in need of sharpener.”
#30
“Everyone has that one ex that they don’t claim.”
– Nitya Prakash
#31
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
– Steven Wright
#32
“Breaking up with my ex allowed me to finally experience a relationship that’s completely one-sided: me, myself, and I.”
#33
“Taking your ex back is like going to a yard sale and buying back your own crap!”
#35
“If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.”
– Oscar Wilde
#36
“My ex always said they were the ‘highlight’ of my life. Well, more like the ‘highlighter’, because they’ve just underlined all the errors.”
#37
“Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?”
#38
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
– M. Kathleen Casey
#39
“They say you learn something new every day, and getting over my ex taught me the art of selective amnesia.”
#40
“Blaming the ex for the breakup is like blaming the clothes for not fitting you.”
– Khang Kijarro Nguyen
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Funny Ex Quote for Him
Funny Quotes For Ex Boyfriend
#41
“My now ex-boyfriend used to say he was talented at multitasking. Turns out, he was just really good at juggling multiple relationships.”
#42
“My ex-boyfriend’s job is like his heart – always on break.”
#43
“My ex wasn’t an asshole. He was the whole ass.“
#44
“If my ex-boyfriend was a movie, he would be a horror film – scary, unpredictable, and not worth watching again.
#45
“I once asked my ex-boyfriend what his favorite exercise was, and he responded with ‘jumping to conclusions.’ No wonder he left me for someone else.”
#46
“I don’t miss my ex-boyfriend, but I do miss his Netflix subscription.”
#47
“Yesterday I ran into my ex. Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.“
#48
“My ex-boyfriend was like a crossword puzzle – frustrating and full of blanks.”
#49
“If you’re happy and you know it thank your ex!“
#50
“My ex-boyfriend always insisted on being the ‘man of the house,’ but I quickly realized he couldn’t even handle being the ‘man of common sense.'”
#51
“Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.“
#52
“I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.“
#53
“I had a dream that my boyfriend went back to his ex… I woke up and giggled because you don’t pick up a rock after finding a diamond.”
Starley Ard
#54
“Cheers to my ex for finally finding someone just as worthless as he is.“
#55
“You were my missing puzzle piece, but turns out you were from a different puzzle altogether.”
Funny Ex Quote for Her
Funny Quotes For Ex Girlfriend
#56
“My ex-girlfriend said she needed space… so I locked her outside.”
#57
“Ex-girlfriends are like tattoos they hurt you & never go away.”
#58
“I’m not saying my ex-girlfriend is a drama queen, but I swear she has her own personal spotlight wherever she goes!”
#59
“Never feel bad about she left you. Smile that she is with an asshole now.“
#60
“I finally realized why my ex-girlfriend is so cold-hearted… she’s just preserving herself for the next unlucky guy!”
#61
“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a CABBITCH.“
#62
“My ex-girlfriend used to say she wanted a man who could make her laugh… well, I certainly gave her plenty to laugh about!”
#63
“When an Ex-Girlfriend says, “Let’s be friends”, it is almost like a kidnapper saying, “we’ll stay in touch.”
#64
“If I had a dollar for every time my ex-girlfriend acted crazy, I could afford therapy for the rest of my life.”
#65
A good way to breakup with your girlfriend is to introduce her as your ex girlfriend at parties. It softens the blow.
#66
“Remember kids, ex-girlfriends are like sandcastles… they’re fun to build, but they tend to get washed away by the waves.”
#67
“My ex-girlfriend once told me I’d never find someone like her again. Thank God for small miracles!”
#68
“My ex-girlfriend was always obsessed with her looks. She even wrote ‘breakup face’ masks into her skincare routine!”
#69
“I told my ex-girlfriend she was like the last slice of pizza… cold, stale, and I wish I ordered something else!”
#70
“My ex-girlfriend is like a mosquito in summer… annoying, persistent, and impossible to ignore until you finally swat her away!”
#71
“My ex-girlfriend once said she wanted to be the girl of my dreams. Well, she sure succeeded… because every nightmare needs a villain!”
#72
“I think it’s cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.”
— Demetri Martin
#73
“I’ve spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer, but no one will do it.”
— Anthony Jeselnik
#74
“My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.”
— Anthony Jeselnik
#75
“I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.”
— Emo Philips
In conclusion, laughter truly is the best medicine when it comes to dealing with an ex. While the end of a relationship can be tough, finding humor in the situation can help us heal and move on. These funny quotes about exes remind us not to take life too seriously and to find the silver lining in every breakup. So, whenever you’re feeling down about your ex, remember these hilarious quotes and let them bring a smile to your face. After all, laughter can help us get through the most challenging of times.
