80+ Funny Cooking Quotes

Our collection of funny cooking quotes can make you smile, remember your favorite meals, or make you appreciate the cooks in your life even more. Some people believe love is the secret ingredient in cooking, while others think it’s music. Everyone has their own idea of what makes great cooking.

Cooking is a special kind of art that many people love. It can give you personal joy like no other art form.

Take a look at these fantastic funny cooking quotes we’ve gathered just for you.

#1

“The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house!“

#2

“Many people have eaten my food and gone on to lead normal lives.“

#3

“My cooking is fabulous even the smoke alarm is cheering on me on.“

#4

“Cooking resembles snow skiing: if you don’t fall at least 10 times, then you’re not snowboarding hard enough.”

#5

“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food“

#6

“I have a passion for not cooking.“

#7

“A messy KITCHEN is a sign of happiness.“

#8

“If you can organize your kitchen, you can organize your life.~ Louis Parrish“

#9

“My mom’s favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations“

#10

“Three words more beautiful for a married woman than I love you. “NO COOKING TODAY”

#11

“A clean kitchen is a sign of a wasted life.“

#12

“Clean the kitchen not because you want to, but because if you don’t Mom will lose her shit.“

#13

“Why yes, I’ve discovered the JOY of cooking. It’s when my husband does it.“

#14

“The problem with eating Italian food is that five or six days later on, you’re starving once again.“

#15

“Why do brides wear white? Because it’s the most popular color for kitchen appliances.“

#16

“I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C Fields

#17

“D.I.E.T. (Did I Eat That)“

#18

“A guy who knows how to cook is really handsome.”

#19

“I’m on a seafood diet plan. I see food and I eat it.!!“

#20

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food. – George Bernard Shaw“

#21

“Food doesn’t ask silly questions, food UNDERSTANDS…“

#22

“My kitchen was clean last week. Sorry you missed it.“

#23

“I do not cook on days that end in y.!!“

#24

“One day…I’m gonna make the onions cry”

#25

“Get your fat pants ready!“

#26

“Up until I discovered cooking, I had never actually thought about anything.“

#27

“This evening’s forecast includes a 0% chance of me cooking.“

#28

“I hate when I go to the kitchen for food and all I find are ingredients.“

#29

“There is no “We” in “Food”.“

#30

“Today’s menu has two choices TAKE IT or LEAVE IT.“

#31

“People who love to eat are always the best people. – Julia Child“

#32

“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”“

#33

“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook. – Julia Child“

#35

“Fat gives things flavor.“

#36

“If you’re afraid of butter, use cream. – Julia Child“

#37

“I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.“

#38

“I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for answers.“

#39

“The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing..!!”

#40

“The only genuine stumbling block is the fear of failure. In cooking, you’ve got to have a what-the-hell mindset.

#41

“With enough butter, anything is good.“

#42

“I came. I saw. I decided to order take out!“

#43

“If it doesn’t have meat, it’s a SNACK!“

#44

“PROMISE and PIE-CRUST are made to be broken. – Jonathan Swift“

#45

“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.“

#46

“Cooking is the art of adjustment. – Jacques Pepin“

#47

“My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines.“

#48

“Ways to my heart: Buy me food, Make me food, Be food.“

#49

“I’m not gaining weight. I’m keeping food.“

#50

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

#51

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” – Barbara Johnson

#52

“Accidently went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of Aisle 5.“

#53

“I just stepped on cornflakes. Now I am formally a cereal killer.“

#54

“I followed my heart and it led me into the fridge.”

#55

“No woman ever shot a man while he was washing the dishes.“

#56

“If god wanted me to cook, why did he invent restaurants??“

#57

“When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into 4 or eight pieces, I stated, ‘four. I do not believe I can eat 8.” ~ Yogi Berra

#58

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” ~ Calvin Trillin

#59

“Table manners are for people that aren’t hungry“

#60

“VEGETARIAN is an old Indian word for bad hunter.“

#61

“Dieting is when you eat food that makes you sad“

#62

“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?“

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#63

“The dishes are looking at me dirty again…“

#64

“Kitchen closed due to illness: I am sick of COOKING!!”

#65

“I spend a great deal of time holding the fridge door open trying to find responses.“

#66

“My wife treats me like a god; I get a burnt offering at every meal.“

#67

“Leftovers are for quitters!“

#68

“When I learned how to cook. I forgot how to clean!!”

#69

“The secret of clean kitchen is simple. Don’t cook ever.”

#70

“Made with Love means I licked the spoon then kept using it…”

#71

“Never ever trust a skinny cook!!“

#72

“Cooking rule: If at first you don’t succeed, order pizza and donuts.“

#73

“STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.”

#74

“Never eat more than you can lift. ~ Miss Piggy“

Starley Ard

#75

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!“

#76

“I never met a meal I didn’t like!” ~ Miss Piggy

#77

“Too much Pi gives you a large circumference.“

#78

“I just don’t want to look back and think, I could’ve eaten that.“

#79

“Life is short, eat dessert first.“

#80

“Real food doesn’t have ingredients, real food is ingredients”~ Jamie Oliver

#81

“Count the memories not the calories.“

#82

“Dinner again? I just cooked yesterday“

#83

“Oh, I adore cooking. It makes me feel so mindless in a worthwhile way.” ~ Truman Capote

In the kitchen, a good laugh can make your cooking taste even better. We hope these funny cooking quotes give you a chuckle. Cooking isn’t just about getting recipes right; it’s about having fun, enjoying the food, and sharing smiles with your family and friends.

So, keep cooking, keep smiling, and enjoy every tasty moment in the kitchen!